Sunday, February 12, 2012

5 o'clock in the morning

Have you ever had a moment where you realize how close you are to losing something really important to you?
That moment where you realize if something doesn't change, everything will be gone?
I have and it's terrible.
But things are looking up.
And down at the same time.
I'm stressed all the time, even though I finish everything I need to do.
These past few weeks have been really hard emotionally for me. And I don't know if any of you know this but sometimes I cry for no reason at all. Really, NO reason. It's terrible. 
Anyway, I was talking to one of my sisters tonight and I realized that my sisters love me. They do.
Not only because we share the AXO bond, but because we are all amazing people. 
It made me realize that my sisters want me to succeed and are cheering me on through and through.
We had a lady from the Academic Resource Center come talk to us about studying and resources and tips to use. She gave us a good way to prioritize, which I've already used. During this presentation, when she was listing all the good study habits, I checked every one off of my "I do that" list, but somehow still manage to not do well.
I've taken 15 credits every semester since I came to college. 
She made a point saying that sometimes our issue is that we simply have too much school on our plate. She said a lot of times it's better to have fewer classes, do better, and be here an extra semester rather than taking on too much and not doing well and finishing in the typical four years.
So I dropped one of my classes and it is already helping. 
That puts me at 13 credits this semester. That puts me at 55 total after this semester, and you need 60 to be a junior, which I am supposed to be in the fall. 
I'm worried I won't get into my major and I'm worried for my future.
It's coming down to the line and I don't know what to do.
I want to live in Logan over the summer if I don't get the NetApp internship. 
I need to take summer classes and to do that I need to be in Logan.
But there are no jobs in Logan, so that's an issue.

On a happy note, the internship is going well. They want me to do PR for them, so that should be fun!

On another stressful note, Lyre Fest is on Monday and I am FREAKING OUT.


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